Super filmi week: A millipede and Kimi Katkar’s monsoon romance!

Reflecting on trashy music we love, a millipede and Kimi Katkar’s monsoon romance, why Shah Rukh Khan is every journalist’s dream come true and lots more in my super filmi week.

Monday

It’s Rahul Dev Burman’s 77th birth anniversary as Google’s unflattering Doodle pops up to announce.

But for RD fans, every day of his music spells celebration. His songs are akin to the sort of comforting intimacy a family offers whose melodious warmth is unceasing in its affection. And when the blues catch up, he’s got just the tune to heal or hearten.

Obviously, he’s not the only composer to achieve this but I am a die-hard fan of how his sound embraces the voice in another’s words.

Though there’s one facet of Panchamda’s personality I wish he’d explored a bit more involves him facing the camera. His comic cameo as a scaredy-cat venturing inside a haunted mansion to prove he’s not one is among the highlights of Mehmood’s Bhoot Bungla.

Tuesday

Game of ThronesIf there’s one thing I’ve learned after six years and sixty episodes, it’s NEVER underestimate Game of Thrones or its endless stock of bombshells.

The final episode of season six is the mother of all takedowns. Without giving anything away, let me just say, it is poetic in its brutality and unflinching in its antagonism.

On the whole, it’s reassuring to see how its tenacious women — not their sexuality but their spirit to do better or worse — predominantly shoulders this season.

Daenerys Targaryen, the Stark sisters — Sansa and Arya, Cersei Lannister, Yara Greyjoy, Brienne of Tarth, Olenna Tyrell and, not in the least, Lady Lyanna Mormont, take a bow.

That said, I’m never too pleased about a season finale.

The episodes itself are rousing but the cliffhangers? Not so much. And the year-long wait that follows? So ruthless, so, ugh, Game of Thrones.

It’s like what a certain Queen of Westeros once said, ‘The gods have no mercy. That’s why they’re gods.’

Wednesday
Kimi Katkar and Govinda
Winter isn’t coming anytime soon but monsoon has arrived with a bang — perhaps a lot more in Mumbai than in Delhi where I am right now. But in Bollywood, it pours all year round.

Kimi Katkar will vouch for it. Yep, that light-eyed 1980s oomph girl who romanced the likes of Amitabh Bachchan, Govinda and Sanjay Dutt in dispensable masala.

Part of her sex-symbol reputation owes its flourish to an extensive resume of rain numbers but the prelude to one in Jaisi Karni Waisi Bharni truly stands out.

Let me share this completely useless but funny finding.

Predictably, it’s raining cats and dogs prompting lovebirds Kimi and Govinda to take refuge in an abandoned barn filled with tons of hay to make out. Both Govinda and the camera make ample note of her heaving chest. And then, thunder, lightening, shazam, a tactically positioned millipede makes an uncredited cameo on Kimi’s cleavage.

A normal guy would bring it to her attention and get the creepy crawly off her that very instant but this is Bollywood at its ingenious best.

Therefore Govinda looks on lustily till a seemingly anesthetised Kimi, at last, senses an icky arthropod on her and shakes it off. Meanwhile, Govinda refuses to budge from lecherous mode leaving Kimi to go pink in the face (or maybe it’s just the dress).

Cue for singer Mohammad Aziz to activate his high pitch, instant colour-coordinated costume change and Govinda and Kimi to break into robust jhatkas.

Thursday
Mirza
The feedback to my article on Ten Things We No Longer See in Hindi Movies is promising and has the potential for a sequel.

Even as I am contemplating it, the stunning trailer of Mirzya appears before my eyes once again. There’s a distinct warrior meets hermit quality to the image of Harshvardhan Kapoor’s archer riding on a horseback wearing a tanned face, rugged clothes and hair tied in a top knot.

Throw in an axe and the man could well be Parshurama and I can’t help wishing if Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra or someone with his stylised vision would adapt his incredibly volatile tale.

Unfortunately, post-Babubhai Mistry, Bollywood doesn’t do mythological any more. Either it’s a modern-day retelling, a kiddie-friendly cartoon or so shabby it’s non-existent. I don’t know if it’s the commercial viability of such projects, the apprehension of taking up anything that involves religious context or both but there’s so much content and complexity to acknowledge and interpret.

If nothing too serious, how about a full-fledged parody along the lines of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’s famous Mahabharat scene or Andaz Apna Apna lampooning the Rama-Bharat reunion?

Friday

Blake LivelyThank God it’s Friday and I’ve discovered Blake Lively’s Instagram account. This woman is not only beautiful and fashionable but also funny without trying hard.

Can you imagine what a routine conversation between husband Ryan Reynolds and her must sound like? They probably breathe in humour.

Although her wardrobe as Gossip Girl’s Serena van der Woodsen is all kinds of edgy and eclectic, always found Lively one-note as an actress and rooted for Team Blair. But now her self-deprecating wit in an industry overflowing with human trumpets has completely won me over.

Sample this: When you’re compared to Beauty AND the Beast…at the same time.

Saturday

Shah Rukh Khan in Dilwale‘I’m a film lover. And the biggest problem in life is if you love something, you are blind.’

I am reading Shah Rukh Khan. The man is more engaging than a bestseller every time he opens his mouth or what I like to call a quote generator.

Often, I have enjoyed him chatting away in Nasreen Muni Kabir’s documentary whilst reflecting on his inner and outer world more than some of his films.

Remarkable really, it’s been 24 years but even now SRK’s interviews make the best copy.

Unlike his jaded, boring or brash colleagues, he always has something fresh to say or even if it’s something you already know, like his early struggle, he’ll convey it with brand new spontaneity.

One of my favourite SRK interviews is the one where he jokes about the wonder years in the presence of his school friends at Farooque Shaikh’s superbly hosted Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai.

Totally Dil se..!

Sunday

Amitabh Bachchan in LaawarisWe all have our guilty pleasure movies.

What about songs? The ones with horribly offensive, politically incorrect or plain raunchy lyrics, the kind we secretly hum in the shower or play in full blast when no one’s home?

I posed this query on Twitter and Govinda songs — as if a category by itself — is almost everyone’s unanimous pick. Truth be told, Meri Pant Bhi Sexy does have a nice hook to it.

 

Well, mine is a lehenga-clad Amitabh Bachchan’s boisterous rendition of Mere Angne Mein — highly inappropriate if taken seriously, hugely entertaining if not.

This column was first published on rediff.com.

Also read on Super Filmi Week: 
Udta Punjab, worst casting decisions, and naheeee…!
Of warring Khan bhakts and meeting Mogambo!
Ranbir’s forgotten romance in Bachna Ae Haseeno
Funnier than Aishwarya’s lips
Clashing superheroes and crying Khans
OCDing on Neetu Singh’s LPs!
Garam Dharam, Mantrik Origins, Rockstar Cruise

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